This past summer I was able to go to one of my favorite places, Lake Powell, with my two best friends and their families. I have been lucky to be friends with them since first grade. We have gone to elementary school, middle school, high school and college together. We still get together on a regular basis and our families like to spend time together.
I recently read an article on friendship and found some interesting statistics. I love my wife so why is it important for us, both men and women, to have friends? Is our social life that big of a deal? It certainly is, it’s a bigger deal than we might think. Nearly all research into healthy aging has found that the key to a long, happy life is not diet or exercise but strong social connections—that is friendships.
Loneliness increases age-related declines in both mental and physical function, while having a close friend has been shown to make as much as a 10 year difference in overall life expectancy. A study at BYU found that loneliness is just as harmful to health as not exercising, smoking 15 cigarettes a day, and alcoholism, and fully twice as bad as being obese. Another study published in the Journal of Clinical Oncology looked at 2,230 cancer patients in China showed that the number one predictor of survival was the social well-being including friendship.
We know that isolated people tend to exercise less and not eat as healthy and drink too much but researchers believe that loneliness has a greater impact on its own. Studies show if you feel lonely your health risks are greater. Young adults showed higher use of drugs, lower immune responses and higher levels of stress hormones. Older adults showed higher blood pressure, less sleep, were more tense and anxious when lonely.
An Australian study followed 1,500 older people for 10 years. The findings showed that those with a large group of friends lived longer than those with fewer friends by 22%. It also stated that the close relationship with a spouse and or family members had no effect on longevity. A team of researchers analyzed mobile phone data and found that by the time married women hit 45 or so, they demote their husbands from first to second place among their most important relationships, typically in favor of a daughter or a younger female friend.
So how many friends do we really need? The answer is three. According to Oxford University anthropologist Robin Dunbar most people are capable of maintaining stable relations with about 150 others. Healthy people have a group of 10-15 member “sympathy group” (the death of any of whom would cause distress) and three to five close friends who can be relied upon in times of trouble. If your friend count falls within that range, you are doing fine.
I love my job where I can interact with many people and develop some great friendships which I feel greatly improves my quality of life.
